What I'm Wearing
-I Love Ugly White Collarless longline Shirt
-Industrie Shredded Black Shorts
-Burberry Gun Metal Watch
-Reebok Classic White High Top Kicks
Zenosyne: The sense that time is going faster.
It's actually just after your born that life flashes before your eyes - entire eons lived in those first few moments. As a kid you run around so fast, the world around you seems to stand still. A summer vacation can stretch on for an eternity. With each birthday we circle back and cross the same point around the sun. We wish each other 'many happy returns.' But soon you feel the circle begin to tighten, and you realize it's a spiral, and you're already halfway through.
When we are young and first come out into the adult world, we can meet those often a lot older than us, and we are dumbfounded at anyone who's default state of mind of cynicism and jadedness. But that is because we are our black and white selves then. We begin to lose our black and white selves more and more after being caught up, again and again, waist deep in the quagmire I call the struggles of the human condition.
If you are unfortunate enough to have history repeat itself, the black and white in us starts to diffuse into one another. Each and every time, the polarities which we once allow in our lives, whether good or bad, come a little closer to the centre, until the adventures we were once brave enough to go after are left in a a murky halfway space that I call the inbetween grey.
I found myself at a weird cross road recently - one that I think we all face. I noticed a recurring pattern in my life - this was the repeated pushing away of good people in my life. So scared of the black, that I was never willing to try open myself to the white in my life. So scared of the bad people I had encountered that I was never willing to give the good a chance.
But I have also become gravely more aware of mortality each and every day. And then I missed how brave I used to be. I felt the circle tightening, finding myself wanting to come back around again. I was becoming the very image of who we did not want to be when we first came out into the world.
Wongfu once said that "death was not what saddened us the most, but the fact that we had never felt like we had fallen in love. We would never ever have had those emotions of being hurt and being held. Teaching us that one of the greatest gifts we have in a being alive is give, receive and even lose love. What a waste, why waste this life not loving?" And I expect to see none in your in the grayscale, not now, and not years from now ...
Checkout the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrow's visual representation of Zenosyne below. I am always speechless and shook after watching this: