Black 🌻 Sunshine
Tuesday, May 08, 2018
“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it's not the answer” – Jim Carrey
You live in a society that puts fame, success and fortune on a pedestal like no other, but why? Individualism! You are told from young that you are set apart because of your uniqueness and individuality, and because of this you will rise above the masses. Then you start to set expectations for a special destiny, for yourself and your society members, and anything short of this destiny results in self criticism, self loathing and existential depression - does this sound familiar?
On a treacherously windy day in Seoul, I continued to lament over this, and it was something I had written about previously. In short, when you’re 15, you never think you’ll actually get to 25, but eventually we do. It may be a different age for you, but there is ultimately a point in time where we all reckon with the idea that we cannot stop ourselves from ageing. The biggest thing is that you realise you now have a finite number of days to achieve everything you want. In your youth, you feel immortal but you lose that in adulthood.
Amidst my bad mood and Seoul's equally grey Changseong-dong district, a yellow sunflower bursting out of the cement metropolis cured me of this depression – and I’d like to share the lesson it taught me.
On a treacherously windy day in Seoul, I continued to lament over this, and it was something I had written about previously. In short, when you’re 15, you never think you’ll actually get to 25, but eventually we do. It may be a different age for you, but there is ultimately a point in time where we all reckon with the idea that we cannot stop ourselves from ageing. The biggest thing is that you realise you now have a finite number of days to achieve everything you want. In your youth, you feel immortal but you lose that in adulthood.
Amidst my bad mood and Seoul's equally grey Changseong-dong district, a yellow sunflower bursting out of the cement metropolis cured me of this depression – and I’d like to share the lesson it taught me.
Growing
up, flowers were so pointless to me and I never understood people’s love for them.
They were so ephemeral; perhaps dead tomorrow or at least next season. But on
this certain occasion, the sight of sunflowers in full bloom stirred my
mind, somehow reminding me of my mother who sat on the opposite end of the flower
appreciation spectrum.
My
mother told me her dream was to own her own flower store, but raising three
kids and working almost full time, she never had the chance. Some of my fondest
memories growing up was of myself curiously watching her carefully nurture and
prime her favorite orchids, and times when she created intricate flower
arrangements for Sunday service.
But being the wretched child that I was, I also remember running through our garden with my
twin brother, slashing down all plant life in my path. And that time I once ran over
her flower garden (accidentally) with my car during university – she was livid!
That
felt so long ago … and again I thought of my depleting time and lost childhood … but for the first time
in this lament, I felt a gentle and humble appreciation of the flower in front
of me.
When you feel like you have forever, then today doesn't matter. But the sunflower’s defiant full bloom in Seoul’s ubiquitous concrete became a mirror, reflecting on myself my own mortality in all its ephemeral glory. It felt so beautiful to me because I understood that it was of no certainty but destiny that I chanced these flowers in full bloom.
When you feel like you have forever, then today doesn't matter. But the sunflower’s defiant full bloom in Seoul’s ubiquitous concrete became a mirror, reflecting on myself my own mortality in all its ephemeral glory. It felt so beautiful to me because I understood that it was of no certainty but destiny that I chanced these flowers in full bloom.
And then it struck me. Today, we live in a society that tells us we need to achieve more and more faster in order to feel fulfilled. Modern day individualism preaches that an individual and their achievements are everything, and everyone is capable of living a special destiny. So if we do not live this way then we are a failure. That’s why overnight success of coveted. Fame and social media worsen the need for this with the illusion of fulfillment. To be ordinary is regarded as a curse.
But
in fact, the immensely successful Jim Carrey states: “I think everybody should
get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that
it's not the answer.” Have you ever wondered how it's possible that some of the
richest and most successful people are often the unhappiest, and some of the
most joyful spirits can be happy while living on what we in the Western world would
consider not-enough-pocket-change? Sad stories like Avicii and Whitney Houston come to mind.
The
real cure is not a complete rejection of trying to achieve more, but to not forget the appreciation of the good and ordinary life as well as the quiet heroism
of the everyday.
Individualism is a construct, and your list of achievements over time does not denote whether you are fulfilled or a failure. How many times have we seen rich, famous and successful people exude sadness, depression and/or sometimes commit suicide? – perhaps and unfortunately it is because they reached society's end goal to realize it was all a lie?
Individualism is a construct, and your list of achievements over time does not denote whether you are fulfilled or a failure. How many times have we seen rich, famous and successful people exude sadness, depression and/or sometimes commit suicide? – perhaps and unfortunately it is because they reached society's end goal to realize it was all a lie?
Individualism as an end, instead of a means, is a lie. Affluence and perceived success, can be a means to an end - an end that concerns purpose and non-conditional gratitude for just the very moment you have. Relish
every second you have with the simple possibility that it contains and the destiny of the opportunity its giving you.
The beauty of life is in its fleetingness. The glory of a moment is in the fact that it doesn't last forever. And the majesty of a flower stems from the beauty of its architecture, an architecture that is all the more precious because it stands but for a moment. Just like us, and we cannot change that, but every second we’re in full bloom is divine and cosmic opportunity, potential and glory.
The beauty of life is in its fleetingness. The glory of a moment is in the fact that it doesn't last forever. And the majesty of a flower stems from the beauty of its architecture, an architecture that is all the more precious because it stands but for a moment. Just like us, and we cannot change that, but every second we’re in full bloom is divine and cosmic opportunity, potential and glory.
What I'm Wearing
Striped oversized windbreaker (Maniamass)
Yellow tight-fit batpig tee (Groove Rhyme)
Indigo Jeans (G-Star)
Black Military Boots (Palladium)
15 comments
That certainly made me feel better. Thanks for sharing so honestly as always ...
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading! Anytime!
DeleteThank u but it sounds easier for someone like u to say because u are successful
ReplyDeleteWe are all in our own lanes - I think maybe that point could've been clearer, but it's not about competing.
Delete"The beauty of life is in its fleetingness." That reminded me of Goethe's Faust. When the moment is so beautiful, that we want the time to stand still for ever, that is actually, when the devil has us in his hands.
ReplyDeleteIs that from a secular play?
DeleteFrom a secular play, yes. Eventhough religion plays a pivotal role in it.
Delete... and ... sooo curious about the twin brother. What is it even like to have one?
ReplyDeleteI haven't known any different. It was nice having someone being in the same year during school and going through the same thing as I did. We did lots together.
DeleteYou are a young flower in full bloom. And you will bloom for many seasons before you begin to wither and eventually die, as we all must. Make the most of your time in bloom. Cherish every moment for they are fleeting and go by much too fast.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this - appreciate it. But I also remind myself that I may not have many seasons, none of us know how many seasons lay ahead of us. In that knowledge, we live in full bloom even more so!
DeleteI am curious about your twin brother. Is he gay also? If there is such a thing as a "gay" gene, and twins are genetically identical, then he should be gay as well. Did he go on to develop his body as you have? Thank you in advance for answering.
ReplyDeleteHe's straight and he hasn't developed his body like me. We are fraternal.
DeleteAwesome read :)
ReplyDeleteAll that we have achieved in our search for fortune and success as a species is that we have destroyed our habitat and the chance for future generations to experience life.
Our planet is only designed for the simple life. We should feel successful because we are alive 🌏 🙌🏼
Jack x
Thanks for reading. Wishing you happiness and joy in the moment ... and the future
DeleteWhat did you think?