End of An Era. Start of Eternity.
Thursday, July 06, 2023It's a goodbye. With respect to all my readers and my past self, this is the last post on Everyday Sway. Admittedly, what started out as an inclination toward the confluence of style, art history and pop culture bohemianism in university eventually developed into some form of a diary of my early 20s galivanting around pool, parties and studios. As good as my intentions were, sharing about my personal development, in hindsight, this was superseded with the narcissism of my youth and my pulsing need for validation. This prevented any real prevailing purity and true wisdom.
For you (Christ), have turned my mourning into dancing Psalms 30:11
Since being born again in July of '23, crying in the backseat of my car in some random car park in downtown Sydney, nothing was ever the same. It was a beam of love so pure and hopeful that it led to instant transformation and is with me to today. Foregoing some details, that night that was a crossroad in my life where I finally said no in my heart to the darkness that was prevailing in my life.
This poetic series is a exploration of that. Now that the veil has been lifted, I can see all of my past self: the addictions, the velvet rage and self-hatred masquerading as sexuality and sensuality, my covert narcissism disguised as altruism, the promiscuity, the hurt child, the vanity - the compounding of all of these things resulting in the metastasis of my trauma and leading me down dark pathways (that looked like light at the time). Nonetheless, I look back at my old self with grace, forgiveness and fondness - I think I was doing the best I could with what I knew. An experience of this a love so gracious, ever hopeful and pure will change you forever. I may have mused about it before in thought, but never truly had it in my heart until then.
In Christ, with hope and love for all - I draw a curtain on the last 15 years.
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1 comments
farewell and all best
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