"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important" - C.S. Lewis

This piece has been the hardest for me to post but also the most true to what I have ever wanted to say. I thought about just not posting at all, but we always have to share what we believe in even when it's scary. Also, we're all going to die one day and I would most certainly posthumously kick myself if I did die tomorrow before I had the chance to share this, so here we go.

Something sad happened in Pattaya recently. While I was performing, I met a fellow performer who had everything by the age of 26. He was tall, successful, kind, charismatic, youthful and one of the most famous dancers in the entire world. And suddenly, just hours after we had been dancing together, he left us. I felt so sad ... and also so helpless ... all I could do was hope that wherever he had left us for, he was okay and happy.


Say you were at a party, and somehow you knew that there would be an explosion that would kill everybody. Would you not warn your friends, family and immediate company? Of course you would. Similarly, say one truly believed that at the end of human life, there would be an irreversible fate of eternal life or eternal death, wouldn't they encourage their friends, family and company to the better result? Of course they would - and that is the Christian perspective.

Do you ever wonder when you are going to die and where you will go afterward? Are you of the belief that you will disappear into nothingness, or do you think, in this world where the sun watches over us by day and the moon by night that our existence amounts to something more?

For those who are part of the LGBT+ community, I know this is especially hard and confusing. I used lie in bed at night, crying and praying to God that he would change me. As I grew into my adolescence, one of the greatest pains was seeing my fellow Christian friends dating, getting engaged and marrying. Yes, I was so happy for them, but this burned me inside as I kept the secret of my sexuality hidden, thinking that I could not find love or build a family in the traditional sense.

So I am trying to reckon with my destiny as a gay man who believes in God and the Bible, but also loves my family, friends and fellow human beings - whether you are gay or straight, or however you'd like to identify.

As a gay Asian man growing up in Australia, I empathise with any minority who has been marginalised. I have experienced the hatred and violence we have been subject to for the history of mankind. When I came out in the church, I lost all of my friends I had growing up and by no other group have I felt more othered. Today, most of my friends are gay, I run a LGBT support group and am the poster boy of many LGBT pride events - so by default, I am the one who the conservatives hate.
But Christians who hate are not my kind of Christians. I want you to know that there are Christian whose views are also not modernly liberal but are still rooted in love.

If you are reading this and you truly don't care that you are going to die and/or have no regard for what happens to you after, then my words might not mean anything to you, but if you mindset that you are open to considering new idea, please keep reading.

Anyone who quotes Bible verses about shellfish or pork prohibition knows nothing about the Bible. I studied Theology in college and was a Sunday School teacher, and can tell you that modern day Christianity stems from a personal and loving relationship with God through Jesus Christ and everything flows from this. Legalism and rules in themselves are dead and useless.

Did you know the one's who coordinated Jesus's crucifixion in the Bible were actually religious and legalistic, and Jesus himself denounced them. So know that any higher-than-thou "Christians" you come across, Jesus denounces them too.

The Christian view is that the world was created by God for humanity and that God gave humanity free will to live by His design, but this led to humanity straying away from God's design. Because of this, God chose to slowly depart from humanity and the world.

Many people ask, why did God create a world with war, disease and sadness? Everything God originally created was actually good, but only became "not good" when God started to depart from the world - like how darkness isn't the opposite of light, it is the absence of light. In this way greater wars, disease, disasters and sadness in the world are signs of God's increasing absence as He parts from our world and with that also His omnipotent sustenance. And the ultimate sign of God's departure is death.

Living in a dying world like this could feel hopeless, and it was until what Christians believe as the death of Jesus that pays for humanity's deviance from God's design and allows us to mend our relationship with God and have access to His eternal sustenance again.

It's hard for me to explain, and some of you probably think I am crazy. Do you ever feel like someone or something is watching over you? Try imagining that entity, without putting any of your own assumptions on this entity, and seriously speak to it with an open heart and reverence. I call that prayer and I believe that is the beginning of connecting with God, and He speaks back, and you slowly learn who He is.

Christianity is about this relationship and this brings so much joy, peace and hope into my life, and it is not about being perfect at all. I am the furthest from perfect, in fact please know that I am what most Christians would call a bad Christian. When Jesus was on earth, he befriended and loved the prostitutes, the diseased and people the general public othered. Like them, I feel the least of all people, but I am trying.

I am not sharing this because I am trying to prove I am right. In a world that cares so little about tomorrow, what I want to leave you with maybe just a thought that perhaps this universe offers something more than just death at the end of life. I encourage you to explore all different beliefs and ideologies before it's too late, and maybe Christianity could be one of them.

Wishing you all the joy, love, happiness, peace and freedom, in this life and the next.

What was your last great adventure?

Can you recall the fond connections you made along the way? Or the adventurous euphoria that surged in your heart as you discovered a new country with its unknown chasms and landscapes colouring themselves before you around every corner like a dream?

But just like that you're back home now with only a scattered photo series on your phone. Do you remember exactly what it felt like in your heart when you returned home again with your trusty suitcase - just you, in grey silence, in your room.

Less than 24 hours ago you were an adventurer living some nomadic utopian fantasy in a parallel dream universe, but just like that you are back in your default world.

If you have felt as described then I'm sorry to say your online diagnosis is rather grave. You have symptoms of a 21st century epidemic, Eternal Traveler's Syndrome: a lingering state of melancholy founded on a fear of missing out because one always feels like they're meant to be living a better life somewhere else.

Don't worry. I've caught it too.

Like an on-and-off relationship with myself I traveled abroad once a month over the past two years. Traveling each time felt like I had somehow kindled a romance with myself, and coming home felt like a break up. You know that feeling when you miss someone, it's like that except you're missing another self.


So that was the breakup ... but let's cue the real heartbreak. Not the romantic kind of heartbreak, well mostly, but the kind of heartbreak that ran deeper into my soul. Over the past few years, I have swirled myself into a vain and hedonistic spiral that should have hit its apex in New York this past July. New York had all the tokens of the trip of my lifetime, but I had the worst time of my life. I could feel my heart, body and soul age more in that one week than I had in my entire life.

New York was the kind of heartbreak where people I put my love and trust in became people I learned I needed to purify out of my spirit. The kind of heartbreak where my lifestyle and who I was at heart were diverging so much that it felt like I was being ripped in half.

And after it was all said and done I really felt the full burn of self-hatred because I'm one of those people that has to experience things imploding in on themselves before that instinct one knows is right from the beginning actually feels real.

Returning home, I didn't want to do anything, or see anybody and for once I didn't plan my next trip. When my friends did see me they told me the light I usually had was gone. They could see it in my face. They told me I looked wearied and aged. Funny how it's so physical visible when the soul breaks.
Three months ... then another day no different from the last. Laying on the floor of my house in The Hills staring up at the ceiling again. I could feel myself with no desire for the next thing. In fact I had absolutely no desire for anything at all. Was I supremely depressed? I couldn't even come to that conclusion ...

In silence, immobility and with no desire, I found something I wasn't expecting. Breathing in, the air felt wholly fresh, clean and young, and as the oxygen fused through my body I appreciated like I had never before how by design my body married the natural world in such a way. I lavished the secure sensation of my head finding rest against the carpet floor, with the homely pull of gravity securing the skin of my face. I wondered on the capability of being the master of my body. How wondrous, whole and captivating such feelings that should be so familiar?

It was right there I found something that I can't really quantify with words.

They say if you can enjoy the presence of a flower, or even a breeze, or just even your own breath, then all the world could be yours.